the tan's of lisa

Goodbye, and see you soon.

Death is a morbid thing if you don't know where the person's soul is going.
But since I know she is in heaven with Jesus, death is just 'Goodbye, and see you soon'.

My unmarried Aunt Sally passed away, after suffering from cancer.
She was in such intense pain, it's better now that she's in heaven. Basking in the glory of God.

The place smelled like flowers. Everyone spoke in hushed whispers. Sadness lingered in the air.

It was my third time in PJ Modern Casket, but my first time going there as family. Grandfather was shattered. I've never seen my dear old Ah Kong in such bad shape. Made me wanna cry too. . It must be so hard for him, which parent would expect their child to go before them?

Not everyone is strong.
My Aunt Poh Yen is strong, they used to say I remind them of her.
But how do you grief, and wear a smile at the same time?
How do you remain unaffected but not emotionless?
Should I smile?
Should I frown?
Do I remain silent?
When should I speak?
What should I say?

Death is a morbid thing if you don't know where the person's soul is going.
But I know. I chose to dwell on what little memory I had left of her.


She was the hottest of the 6 Aunts. She was really pretty, I remember always looking at her and thinking to myself about how I'd never be able to look like her. Well, I don't. I remember how when she went to Holland, she bought me this necklace that had a windmill pendant. I remember how she had and incredibly infectious giggle...I remember how she cried when I baked her cookies last Christmas. She was already very sick.

I heard a grand-aunt say "Tsk, such a waste".
Fourty six is an early age to die. That's why we should live everyday like it's our last. I need to show people I appreciate them more, I should learn to give more and let go more. I don't want to be afraid of death. If God had to take me now, I want to be ready.

Afterall, death is only morbid if you don't go to see Jesus.


Thanks Aunty Sally for helping me to realize that...I'll miss you.





^

posted by lisathetan @ 8:07 AM